January is over.  Is the same true of your New Year resolutions? We make New Year resolutions with the best intentions for change and improvement. Setting goals and accomplishing them can build our self-esteem and increase our resiliency to meet further challenges.  However along the way our motivation disappears.  The up and downs associated with resolutions can take an emotional and mental toll on us.  There are several ways we can interpret not fulfilling our resolutions.  Some may dismiss them as unimportant and rationalize them away.  “I didn’t really want to lose weight.”   Others may see them as evidence of failure and personal flaws that only intensify low self-esteem.  However, there is another response to failed New Year resolutions.  
 
We make New Year resolutions for a reason. Your goal (weight loss, making a career change, finding a relationship, improving a relationship) was important and meant something to you.  If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t have set it for yourself. Not meeting your goal does not mean that something is inherently wrong with you.  The issue may be in your approach. As they say, “the devil is in the details.” Grab a piece of paper and rethink and possibly retool that resolution before you throw it out.
 
 

• First write down your goal.  Be specific – the more specific the goal the easier it will be to see what you’re trying to achieve. 
• Next, break down the goal.  Be specific and be honest with yourself. 
  • Why is it important?  
  • What are you trying to achieve? 
  • What would achieving the goal mean to you?  
  • How would you feel?  
  • What would it mean if you did not complete it?  
  • How would that make you feel?  
  • How much time are you willing to give yourself?  
  • What are the obstacles you see that could knock you off course?  
• Can you name one thing you can do tomorrow to start on the road to meeting your goal?  
• How about two things you can do by the end of the week, end of the month?  

Now that you have made some notes, put your goal in a prominent place where you can be reminded of it, like your wallet or on your bathroom mirror.    
 
 
Who can share in your goal?  Sharing your goal with someone can help to keep you honest.  Sometimes it takes being accountable to someone other than ourselves to accomplish our goals.  Now, all that’s left is to act and evaluate as you go along.  Easier said than done.  However action is vital to make our goals reality and experience the satisfaction of success. 
 
At Equilibria Psychological and Consultation Services, we have experienced therapists that work with individuals in clarifying their goals and plans, and can help to keep people accountable. If you would like to find out more about our services, please do not hesitate to contact us at    267-861-3685 x91.