Anger can bring about extremes in people – sometimes we become overwhelmed, turning into a raging hulk or sometimes we avoid anger and push our feelings away. Where you fall on the anger spectrum – overwhelmed by anger vs. avoid/deny anger – may depend on how anger was addressed in your family.  Take a moment and think about what happened when you were growing up and someone got angry…  
 

• How did your parents respond to anger?  
• What did anger look like in your home? 
• Was anger even allowed in your home?   
• Was this ever said in your home? “It’s ok to get angry.”  

 
How you responded, especially to the last question, can provide some information on why you look at anger the way you do.  Do you believe it’s okay to get angry or is it something you actively avoid?  The bottom line is that it IS okay to get angry and it is very normal to feel angry at times.   Anger is not good or bad; it is neutral.  Anger is like fire. Fire can be used for positive things like making an elegant meal, constructing a building or even keeping that building warm.  Fire can also be used for negative things like harming people or destroying property.  However, by itself, fire is just fire. It is how it is used that can be positive or negative.  This is just like anger.  Anger by itself is fine but how we choose to express that anger can be positive or negative.  For example, when you are angry, do you talk it through or do you punch someone or something? Obviously, talking it through is the preferred, healthy way of coping with or expressing anger. 
 
Anger can be an intense emotion and one of those emotions that can be difficult to get a grasp on.  It is also one of those emotions that can cause us, and those around us, a great deal of pain. It can be so intense at times that it prevents us from enjoying our relationships and life experiences. If you find that you tend to be someone who lets anger get the best of you by not expressing it in ways that are productive for you and for those around you, it can be tremendously beneficial to talk with a professional to learn ways to better express your emotions and effectively manage the issues in your life that seem to trigger your difficult responses.  
 
At Equilibria Psychological and Consultation Services, we have experienced therapists that work with individuals to help them develop effective strategies to better manage their emotions and change the situations in their lives that seem to trigger negative responses.  Learning how to handle anger can help provide a richer sense of self and relationships.  If you would like to find out more about our services, please do not hesitate to contact us at    267-861-3685 x91.