Attachment. Attachment reflects how we connect and relate to the world around us.  Our attachment style is the product of our early temperament and the type of parenting we received.  This style is our preference for how we interact in relationships.  Your style is the “dance” you do really well.  Some of us are experts at the two-step while others have two left feet.  Regardless of how you “dance” or interact with the world, it is important to know your style in order to better understand your strengths and developmental needs.  There are four attachment styles.  Secure/Autonomous, Preoccupied, Dismissive, and Dissociative.  What do these adult attachment styles look like?
 
An adult who has a Secure/Autonomous attachment:
 

• Values relationships
• Has a balanced view of roles in relationships
• Has a clear and consistent view of relationships
• Can tolerate imperfections in themselves and others
• Has a higher capacity to handle intense emotions

 
 
An adult who has a Preoccupied attachment:
 

• Is overly dependent 
• Is overly concerned with their family and early experiences – living in the past
• Struggles to please their family
• Struggles to find a clear and coherent view of relationships and their experiences

 
 
An adult who has a Dismissive attachment:
 

• Sees relationships as unimportant 
• Reports that relationships don’t affect them
• Sees experiences from early life as better than they actually were

 
 
An adult who has a Dissociative attachment:
 

• Tends to have disorganized and chaotic relationships
• Struggles with thinking clearly 
• Struggles with their emotions
• Tends not to have a clear and coherent view of relationships and their experiences
• Struggles to “stay grounded” and” keep it together” – they appear disorientated 

 
 
 
Each attachment style can serve a purpose and help an adult to cope. However, a secure attachment is the most desired. It can be tough to switch your attachment style, as it’s been your preference for years; however, sometimes it’s necessary to learn strategies to compensate for behaviors that interfere with healthy interpersonal relating.  At Equilibria Psychological and Consultation Services, we have experienced therapists that work with individuals to help them clarify and mend how they relate with themselves and the world around them.  If you would like to find out more about our services, please do not hesitate to contact us at    267-861-3685 x91.